In life, no matter how much good there is, you can always find something bad if you look for it. You can find some fault, some weakness, something that you don’t understand or like. You can either develop an eye for the good, or you can develop a critical eye and always see the bad.
This is why marriages are in so much trouble today. A spouse or both spouses have developed a habit of being negative and only seeing the negative. They’ve become too critical and view everything through their critical eye.
Some people have become so critically minded that no matter what the other one does, it’s not going to be right. They never see the good their spouse does anymore, and they’ve forgotten the reasons they fell in love and got married. It’s because they’re magnifying the wrong things.
Your relationship is precious, a treasure from heaven, and you should handle it carefully, always looking for ways to build bridges to each other’s hearts.
The apostle Paul prayed that our love would abound and grow in knowledge and depth of insight, and that applies especially to our love as a couple. That tells us that we cannot put our love on autopilot. If we assume our spouse will “know” that we love them, our relationship will not grow or be as fruitful as it is intended to be.
That’s why it’s so important to make every effort to keep strong connections. If you’re negative toward your spouse and you operate out of a critical spirit, it’s going to poison your whole outlook. You won’t communicate properly. You won’t want to do things together, and it will affect you in every area.
After all, when we’re critical, we begin to nag and exaggerate and make a big deal out of things that are not big deals; that’s when we start complaining that the wrong egg got fried. “Well, you never take out the trash.” “Well, you never spend any time with me.” “You’re always late.”
When we’re constantly critical, we have to realize the problem is not with our spouse. It’s not even with our circumstances. The problem is with us.
If you struggle in this area, I would encourage you to make a list of the qualities that you like about your spouse. Write down the things that they do right. He may not be a good communicator, but he’s a hard worker. Put that on your list. She may have some weaknesses, but she’s a great mother. She’s smart. She’s intelligent. Write that down. Every day go over it. Start focusing on their good qualities.
You have to make a switch. Decide today to start appreciating your spouse’s strengths and learn to downplay their weaknesses. If you do, your marriage will be filled with more peace, unity and love, and you’ll see God bless your marriage in greater ways.
Whether you’ve been married a few months or decades, couples need regular, quiet moments together to renew their love and commitment to each other and to God.
In OUR BEST LIFE TOGETHER, Joel and Victoria Osteen want to encourage you in your marriage and remind you that God brought you together to help each other succeed and to become all He created you to be. There’s no better way to experience the fulfilling marriage God intends for you than to set aside a devotional time together each day and set your minds in the right direction for a positive, happy, faith-filled marriage. When you live together in unity, you honor God and open the door for His blessings to flow into every area of your life. If you will do your part, God will do His part, and you can live in love!